Vegas Baby!!!

I am off (in 2 hours...) to Sin City!!

I'm am so looking forward to a relaxing weekend spent lounging at the pool and walking the strip with Bailee!!! I am also very excited to spend some much needed time with my Mother!!

Whhhoooooopppppeeeeee!!!

See ya in a few days!!

Jami Out-

TOMORROW, TOMORROW...

...I love ya, Tomorrow...


You're only a DAY AWAY!!!


**I get to see my Bailee-kins and my Mama tomorrow!!!


=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D

Happy Birthday Uncle Shane!!

Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday Dear Shane, Happy Birthday to YOU!!

Today is my Uncle Shane's 28th Birthday... wow... 28!! That's scary because it means I'll be 27 in 2 months and 2 days! Aaaaahhhhh!!!

Shane is like a big brother to me. We grew up together and did so many things together. We were on the Swim Team together... had 7 peaks season passes together... everyone thought we were twins.

I love you Shane! I hope you have a fantastic birthday!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Jami

Holy Sore Throat, Batman!!

I woke up at 2:30am this morning to what felt like a fire burning in the back of my mouth. It hurt soooo bad!! I got up... chugged water... sucked on some ice... nothing was working. Ugh! Last week I started getting a sore throat, but after a day of pain... it was gone. I have a feeling this one is going to stick around longer than a day. :(

Anyway- I went and bought a bunch of different kinds of medicine to try and alleviate the pain. (No... I will not be mixing and matching... I'm not stupid)

Here's hoping it's gone before my Vegas weekend with Eric, Bailee, my Mom, and Jay... Here's hoping!!!

Diet Trick #127

Haha... hmmmmmm- I wonder if this would work....

:p

A little crazy mixed with a lot lonely

The past two weeks have been pretty crazy at work. It's been a pretty mellow summer... but...for the past 2 weeks we've been SLAMMED! It's great for the whole 'job security' point of view. However, it can get hectic and make you feel exhausted once the work day is over. I love my job, and I do love it when it's busy...because it makes the day go by that much faster!

However, I go home to nothing. Just an empty house. (oh...and my two adorable kitties) It's been pretty lonely the past week and a half. I haven't done ANYTHING after work. I come home and either clean or watch TV and be a bum. I'll feel so much better when Bee is back home with me. I miss her so very much and I am so excited to take her to Vegas next weekend!! It'll be a fun weekend spent with my old roomie and her kids and some fun in the sun with my Mama! Bailee is excited!! Everytime I talk to her she asks me how many more days til we go to Vegas and play with Gramma Lisa. Ahhh.... ONE MORE WEEK! =)

This weekend will be another low-key weekend spent with Me, Myself, and I.... (I'm not complaining... I'm pretty awesome company...haha) However, I do have quite a lot planned to get done around my house. I am going to completely clean out Bailee's room and get it ready to start re-decorating. Out with the old and in with the NEW!! She's going to be so surprised when she sees the changes I'm going to make... I can't wait to see her face!! She'll love it!

Alright- it is time to get my bahookie to bed! Work starts at 7am tomorrow... Yay for tomorrow being my "Friday"!!

Random

**So... I have been reading back through all my journals, previous blog entries, and poems that I've written in my lifetime ... I found this little thing that I wrote a little over 3 years ago and thought I'd post it. It just got me a thinkin'. Life is never what you expect it to be. It changes every second. All we can do is live it for ourselves and our loved ones... and do the best that we know how to do with what little we've got. However, we are still going to run into those rocky and sticky situations in life. Around every corner is something waiting to bring you down... anyway... **

"Is anything really what we want it to be? Are there really people out there that really care about us?

Are we ever supposed to know what is 'really' expected of us in life?

Are the feelings we sometimes feel, well, normal?

Life is an unexpected journey. We want one thing, life gives us another.

We hope for the best, and what does it do? Hand us the worst.

It is like a sick, twisted game.

We go through everything & anything.....looking...searching...praying...even stalking for a meaning.

Do we really know what it is that we are supposed to find? Are we even capable of making up our own minds??

Or is everything already planned, and mapped out for us?

Do we really even do anything for ourselves? Is there even a practical, and logistical reason for the things that we do?

Or do we just act on the 'sense' that this 'feels' right?

Are we even really supposed to feel?....and I mean...really feel...real feelings...for someone/anyone/everyone...

One day we hate someone/something, just to wake up the next day to love them/it.

They say...

Life is what we make it out to be, what we choose it to be...

But is that really correct?

Because I have 'made my life out to be...and chosen it to be' something that I thought I wanted it to be MANY times....OVER AND OVER....but it never seems to be...well....I don't know...enough.

We all seem to change our minds so much, day to day...everyday. The thing we thought we wanted the most...ends up to be the very thing we can't stand.

Nothing seems to remain the same.

We all have temptations...we all have our needs...and for some fucking reason or another...our needs change from day to day....from one thing to another...from what society condones...to what society accepts....

Are we really ever going to be completely happy with what we have got? With the paths that we have chosen?

Or are we going to continue to want what we don't have...wish for what we can't have...and do what we know we shouldn't?"

Thankful Thursday

Holy Moly! The weeks seriously seem to just fly RIGHT by! It's crazy! However, it is good... that means it's getting closer and closer to the time when Bailee will be home... YAY!

Ok- time for my list of thankfuls....

1) Bailee Nicole- She's always such a ray of sunshine! Always so happy... making lots of new friends... doing great at 1st grade... I love that little girl with everything inside of me. I am looking forward to her coming home and us having girl time all the time. Just talking to her can brighten up my mood.... She is amazing!!

2) My Mom- She has been so good at calling me each and every night to check in on me and see how I am doing, how my day was, etc...etc...etc... I love you mama.

3) My iPhone- I haven't had the Internet in my home for the past couple days... it's been nice to have full access to the web from my little phone.

4) Crushed Ice- I have a super sore throat and the ice is very sooooooothing on it... thank you awesome ice, you are the bestest!

5) "Chit-Chats" with Eric- He truly is my best friend. I like how we can still call each other and just talk. We'll always be friends. Always.

And that, my friends, is my list for the week.

What's yours?

Wordless Wednesday

Happy Mondays!

Wow!

It has been an amazingly, awesome weekend!

Funny thing is... I haven't done a thing with anyone!

I have just been chillin and enjoyin the fabulous company of the most awesomest person in the world!

((me))

Who knew that I'd be so awesome??

I'm sad that the work week starts again in less that 24 hours..

:(

However, I get to spend each and every second with the most amazing person on this Earth!

So, I should just smile and continue on with this life... haha

I am who I am.. and I am HER Mother!!!

And YOU never will be!!!

And ya wanna know what??? THAT makes ME happy! I'm glad that I am her Mother and that YOU never will be!!! That means that she actually has a chance at life! Has a chance to be happy and not grow up being 'torn'!

Yay!!

Yay for ME!

And most importantly... YAY for BAILEE not being YOURS!!

She's MINE!

And she'll grow up happy that she IS mine and will NEVER be yours!

Isn't this CUTE?!?!?!?!!!

I miss my little family that I grew up with.

Sad that Mom and Tye-beroni weren't able to make it work. (I know how that goes)

Also sad that I haven't seen Tyeberto or Alex Dane Magoo in over a year and a HALF! (WTF?!)

This all needs to CHANGE!!!!!

I love my family!

Even though we are broken....

I still consider my broken and crazy family....

MY FAMILY!

EXCITEMENT!

I get to see my MAMA in 2 weeks!!!

I have not seen my mama since Thanksgiving.

No, this is not right. I should be able to see my mama whenever I want.

However, this is not the case.

Because- my mama lives in Los Angeles!!!

Anyway, she's staying in Las Vegas the weekend of the 30th.

SOOOOOoooooo....

I'm going to pick up Bailee from Eric and head to Vegas for a weekend with my MAMA!!!

Miss Jamilyn is so darn excited! I miss my mama. I miss her so very much! I'm happy to get to spend some time with her and meet her bf.

Yay! 2 weeks needs to hurry up and get here!!!!

Whhhhooooopppppeeeee!!!!

=D

Lazy Sundays

"....and on the 7th day, God rested...."

As am I! I've worked all week, I'm tired ... sooooooooooo.....

Jamilyn is resssssting!!

It's amazingly awesome and I betcha can't do it like me.... nope! haha

Thankful Thursdays

It's pretty obvious what I am thankful for this week!

Finding someone to watch my beautiful Goo on Saturdays so that she can come home soon!!

I'm also thankful for all of my friends. Even if we aren't really close, it means alot to me that people care about me. I am sorry for my rantings and posts lately that have freaked people out. I really am OK. I just get depressed and like to vent. BUT- It means alot that I do actually have people that DO care about me!

Anyway....

What are you thankful for this week??!??!???!!

1st Grade!!

Bailee started 1st grade in St. George today. I can't believe that I have a 1st Grader! It's so crazy!! She looks sooooo big! A whole lot bigger than last year when I did her Kindergarten post.

Look at my BIG Gooey!!

Lot's a Words Wednesday

I am so super de duper excited tonight!!!

I met with someone today whom I fell in LOVE with!!

No ... not another man. haha Someone who can watch my Bailee on Saturdays.

That means .... *drum-roll please* ............

Bailee will be coming home in a matter of weeks!!!

HOOOOOOORRRRRRRAAAAAYYYYY!!!

This lady was wonderful.

Her house was beautiful.

She had such a fun, little playroom.

She doesn't really watch anyone else on Saturdays ... so it'll mainly be just her and Bailee.

I already know that Bailee is going to LOVE her!

OOOhhhh OOOhhhh!! I am sooo excited!!!!

Thank you to everyone who has been thinking about me and/or praying about me. I know that this was a HUGE blessing!

YAY!

Boogy will be home sooooooo super soooooooon!!!!

=D

Setting the record straight!!!

Bailee not coming home has NOTHING to do with Eric and I.

Just thought I'd make it clear. Seeing everyone thinks otherwise....

Sorry I didn't' state it outright and forward with my one post!

Missin' YOU!!!

My adorable Goo face!

Mommy loves and misses you soooooo very much!!

Can't wait to see you next week!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

so much for MY happy ending

I am crushed.

And ... quite honestly ... I spend quite alot of time in this position.

Bailee will be staying in St. George for a lot longer than planned.

I hurt. I ache. I am DEVASTATED.

I don't really get it. The whole circumstances surrounding 'why' are pretty fucked up. (yes, I know that was not a "nice" word to say .. but, if you knew the story, you'd most definitely agree) It's the only appropriate word to use.

I got screwed over. I was basically promised something, and then had it ripped right out from under me.

This is the worst thing I've ever had to go through. How can I be a Mommy when I don't even have my baby here with me?!?!

Who am I without her?

All I can say is ... THANKS ALOT!!

Thankful Thursday

I don't feel thankful for really anything this week. I just wanted to use Tib's new logo.

I miss Bailee incredibly. And, it's not going to get better anytime soon.

Everything just sucks right now.

Hopefully you're doing much better than I am.

Miserable Mondays

Well ... more like 'Random Mondays'.

Mondays, as of right now, are my Sundays. This "Sunday" I did nothing. I slept until 2:30pm ... (don't judge me) ... and then have done nothing but park my butt on my computer chair and play on facebook, myspace, etc .... etc .... etc ...

I know I'm lame. You don't have to remind me of that. I have NOTHING better to do. When depression hits me. It. Hits. Me. HARD!

I had an alright weekend. I saw Transformers on Friday night. Worked Saturday day ... and then went out with my friend on Sunday night.

Ooohh!! I also cleaned my other room on Saturday night. But, have lacked the motivation to actually finish the whole house. Grrr.... Eventually it'll be done. At least I "started".

I'm still loving photo editing with my iPhone. I'll leave this post with some awesome-ness from Jamilyn ... Enjoy!

My Saturday Evening Project

I really wish that I would have taken 'before' pictures. But, I didn't.

I have been wanting to clean out the 3rd bedroom ever since Eric moved out. But, I've been dreading it. Because ... it's FULL of him. All of his "extra" stuff that he left behind. Plus- all the boxes and boxes and boxes and BOXES full of our memories.

Today was the day. Today was the day that I decided to be brave and 'change it up'.

OUCH!

Can I tell you ... it hurt.

Real bad.

...BUT...

"My" computer room looks soooooo fresh and so so so clean! (and empty...for now...)

Anyway.... Back to what I was talking about and what I actually was planning on posting tonight. (not some sad sob story)

I kicked some major butt on my 3rd bedroom tonight. I threw away alot, I cleaned alot, I organized ALOT!

And, low and behold! There was actually a BIG bedroom left behind! hahahaha

Go me and my organizing bad self!!

SEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee........!!!!!!!!