Random

**So... I have been reading back through all my journals, previous blog entries, and poems that I've written in my lifetime ... I found this little thing that I wrote a little over 3 years ago and thought I'd post it. It just got me a thinkin'. Life is never what you expect it to be. It changes every second. All we can do is live it for ourselves and our loved ones... and do the best that we know how to do with what little we've got. However, we are still going to run into those rocky and sticky situations in life. Around every corner is something waiting to bring you down... anyway... **

"Is anything really what we want it to be? Are there really people out there that really care about us?

Are we ever supposed to know what is 'really' expected of us in life?

Are the feelings we sometimes feel, well, normal?

Life is an unexpected journey. We want one thing, life gives us another.

We hope for the best, and what does it do? Hand us the worst.

It is like a sick, twisted game.

We go through everything & anything.....looking...searching...praying...even stalking for a meaning.

Do we really know what it is that we are supposed to find? Are we even capable of making up our own minds??

Or is everything already planned, and mapped out for us?

Do we really even do anything for ourselves? Is there even a practical, and logistical reason for the things that we do?

Or do we just act on the 'sense' that this 'feels' right?

Are we even really supposed to feel?....and I mean...really feel...real feelings...for someone/anyone/everyone...

One day we hate someone/something, just to wake up the next day to love them/it.

They say...

Life is what we make it out to be, what we choose it to be...

But is that really correct?

Because I have 'made my life out to be...and chosen it to be' something that I thought I wanted it to be MANY times....OVER AND OVER....but it never seems to be...well....I don't know...enough.

We all seem to change our minds so much, day to day...everyday. The thing we thought we wanted the most...ends up to be the very thing we can't stand.

Nothing seems to remain the same.

We all have temptations...we all have our needs...and for some fucking reason or another...our needs change from day to day....from one thing to another...from what society condones...to what society accepts....

Are we really ever going to be completely happy with what we have got? With the paths that we have chosen?

Or are we going to continue to want what we don't have...wish for what we can't have...and do what we know we shouldn't?"