Nevada weekend!!!

This past weekend was A WHOLE LOTTA FUN!!

On Friday Bailee and I drove south towards the border.  (of Utah...that is...lol...)

We stopped in St. George Friday afternoon to visit my good friend Lizzy.  Bailee had some fun playing with her pooches.

After visiting her, we joined the rest of our family in Mesquite, NV. 

I got to see my MAMA, TYE, & ALEX!!  (I hadn't seen them since September)  We checked into our room at the Oasis, and then went to dinner at the Casablanca. 

After dinner, Tye and I went to the Casino while mommy watched Bailee and Alex while they all slept.

I had a lot of fun with Tye.  We met up with my Uncle Shane, hardly an uncle...more like a brother...he is only 14 months and 2 days older than me..., anyway, we played the 5 cent poker machines for a few hours, and had a bunch of drinks, (including 2 tequila shots...).

The next morn we got up and went into Vegas.  My mom bought me a new iPod Nano, the super cute Hot Pink one!!  And then we hung out at the Wynn and the mall across the street from it.  When we met up with the rest of our family, we decided to have dinner at a restraunt near Fremont Street.  After dinner, we wandered, of course...Fremont Street.  And bought one of those big huge margaritas to share.  lol  And then drove back to our hotel in Mesquite.

When we got back my buddy Lizzy joined me in Mesquite and we went dancing at the club.  It was sooooo much fun!  We had fun drinking and dancing!!  And taking a billion pictures!  She just needs to send me ALL of them! lol

Bailee ended up catching the 'Croupe' saturday night, which was no fun for either her, nor me! lol

Sunday we all went into St. George to visit my grandma's sister and her husband.  (My Aunt Luci and Uncle Ron)  We stayed there for a few hours, and then Bailee and I went to Eric's parents house to visit with them, and have dinner.

Later that night Tye and I went out again.  This time for only about 2 hours.  We were both tired, and seeing we had that long drive the next day, we thought it would be smart to not be out too late.

All in all...I had such a good time!  I wish that my hubby would have been able to join me on my trip.  But I still had fun!

One more thing...actually kind of sad! And very SCARY!!

So, yesterday...I get home from work, all excited because we were going out to dinner at Flemming's Prime Steak and Wine Bar for dinner with my bosses.  (Bob, Steve, & Kevin), and one of our wholesellers...

Anyway...I get home, decide to go out and check the mail...and what do I find in the mailbox?  A letter from my doctor.  It was actually some results from my Pap Shmear* (however it's spelled) from back at the begining of October...

Not such great news...very, very, very, very, very scary news actually.

For those who don't know, November '05 my Grandma passed away at the age of 64 from a type of Cervical Cancer.  A month later, her daughter, my aunt, was diagnosed with another type of Cervical Cancer, at age 42.

Anyway, because of this...it freaked me out even more...

I have some 'NOT NORMAL' cells in my cervix.  (as my dr. called it)

The diagnosis was:

"Epithelial Cell Abnormality.  Atypical squamous cells of undeterminded significance."

Whatever that fully means...

Anyway...scared the living SH** out of me!  First thing I did was call my mom, totally upset.  She calmed me down a little.  Told me to call and talk to the doc to see what all of this means.  Then I went inside and told Eric.  He was pretty concerned.  Trying to ease me, because I was about to start hyperventilating.  Anyway, we went to dinner...which was wonderful....yum-yum...and then my doctor got ahold of me at about 10:30pm to discuss my problem.

He isn't too worried.  Because I tested NEGATIVE for HPV.  Now, if I had tested POSTIVE for HPV, then I would be in more of a danger zone.  Because then, most likely, I would have pre-cancerous cells...not so wonderful.

Basically...I am still worried.  I mean, who wouldn't be?

I have to go back in the next 4-12 weeks for another Pap...(grrr, I already have to do that ONCE a year...why TWICE?)...and then *hopefully* the cells will show normal.  If not...well then, that is a different story.  Then they will have to do a sort of biopsy and run more tests to see if I do have another form of cervical cancer.

yeah, pretty damn scary if you ask me!

Not looking to forward to this!

But I am trying to be Optimistic that nothing is wrong.  That it was just a FALSE-POSITIVE on the atypical squamous cells!

ha-ha...

Yeah...I am still totally scared out of my freaking MIND!

 

Nevada...I am on my way!!

Tomorrow morning, Bailee and I are packing up and heading to Mesquite, NV!!  Wahoo!!

It is the annual Mesquite trip with my fam-damly!

Which means we will get to see my mama, papa-tye and ALEX!!

I am so excited!  I haven't seen them in about 4 months!  And Bailee hasn't seen them in even longer than that!  So this will be a good trip!

I took Friday and Monday off of work for a little vaca away!

Eric, unfortunately, has to work.  So he will not be joining us on our tripperoo...he will be missed...and he will be missing out on all the F-U-N!!!  ha-ha-ha

I also get to 'hopefully' hang out with my buddy Lizzy.  She lives in St. George, and I miss her tons and tons and oodles more!  They are supposed to go dancing in Vegas this weekend for her birthday next week, and I am trying to coax her hubby into dancing in Mesquite instead...

Well, talk at'cha all when I return from my much needed time AWAY!!

My fun time with Kara

So, my bestest bud in the entire world was in Utah....she just left today... =( ...

BUT- not without having some fun with me!!

Although, this time she was here, was...well...'low-key'...compared to last year!  LOL HA-HA

We still had a great time!

I saw her after she got off the plane last Thursday, and then on Saturday me, Kara, John and Eric went to Iggy's for some dinner, and then off to the bowling alley.  Where we spent about 4 hours drinking and bowling.  We had such a great time!  That is where those pictures come from on my page of Kara, John, Eric and I.

And then on Tuesday night we went to Iggy's again...this time for appetizers and $2 draft night!

Ahh...I already miss her bunches!!

Blah, oh and...TIRED...

But I can not seem to make myself just LIE DOWN.  Or even RELAX.

 

BLAH

 

I am extremely annoyed.  Almost depressed.

 

I mean, ultimately, I am doing just fine.  Nothing bad is going on right now.  I am just feeling...

totally and utterly...

...DEPRESSED...

Don't get me wrong.  Life is going in every way that I want it to right now.  Well, almost every way.  Of course there could be aspects that could be better.  But, maybe it is just that time of the year.  That time where people just get gloomy.  Hell, I bet it is even the weather.....I mean.....look at all this fucking SMOG all around.  You can't even see the damn MOUNTAINS!  I drive into work everyday and I can't even see Downtown, even when I am about 5 miles away from it.

Maybe that is where all this blah, depression, is coming from.

Maybe it is the fact that this week Eric has been working 2 jobs.  So I haven't really even seen him since Tuesday night.  And the only time we have talked in the past 3 days we have both been busy, tired, and annoyed.  So we haven't been in the mood for 'chit-chatting'.

Or, hell, maybe it is the fact that....AGAIN...another month is here, and I am STILL NOT PREGNANT!!!!  What the fuck!!  Honestly!  (sorry for the language...but I am trying to figure this stupid emotion I am going through out...)  I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!!!!

It is too the point where Bailee begs for a 'brudder or sisser'.  And me not being able to provide that for her, makes me ache.  And again, my doctor wants me to be put on fertility, but...I just can't do it.  I want to have a child on my own!  I mean, I have already done it before!!!  Why can't it happen again this time?????!!!!!

GRRRRR......

In all aspects, everything in my life is going just fine. 

 

I am just going through some stupid sort of depression.  I mean, on the outside, I am all wonderful and blissful, and happy.  To everyone.  Including Eric.

But on the inside, I am a ticking time bomb.  Who knows how long it'll last.  Hopefully not too long.  Because where I am at at this moment...it is not a good place....I have resorted to...well...

...we won't go there....

I just need to be happy.

I really do.

 

And ultimately I am.  I am just suffering through a dark time right now.

 

But....

 

There is light at the end of this dark tunnel...I already see it...the question is...

 

...how long until I am to the end of it?

Long week...

Although this week was rather...'short'...because I had Monday off.  It seemed to have lasted FOREVER!!!

Things have picked up at work.  So I have been super busy all week.

Eric's new job started Monday, so I have had to get up an hour earlier all week.  (which is probably why it has seemed so much longer)

But Bailee has been wonderful all week.  And it has been nice getting to dress her up and do her hair all week.  Usually daddy just puts her in whatever is clean, and then runs a brush quickly through her hair.  But this week, she was sportin' new clothes that we bought last weekend, and had her hair done so pretty every day!!

Anyway, it has been a long week.  And I am indeed ready for the weekend.  Hopefully it will be relaxing.  Eric has to work both tomorrow and Sunday.  So no sleeping in!  =(

But, on a great note...

My bestest bud Kara is in town from Missouri.  I got to see her last night.  And I got to meet her man.  Tomorrow night we are all going to go to dinner and go BOWLING!  Yippee!!  I love having my Kara in town!  I have missed her tremendously!

Have a good weekend everybody!

Kara Lyn Cruz Ashton Wray

So, my bestest friend in the ENTIRE world is coming into town in one short week!

I am so damn excited!!!

WAHOOOOOO!!!

Kara and Jami roll again!

And with her new man John...who I am excited to FINALLY meet...heard about him for a billion years now...and I am finally going to get to meet the bitch...hahaahaha.

Anywho...

Kara...you better be planning to spend time with me.  Not just a day.  Or even two.  Whose your best friend?  Huh?  Who?? 

(me...right?...HAHAHA...Yeah...that's what I thought!)

I miss you girl!  Excited to see you next week!  It has been an entire YEAR!

Transition...

So, in leu of Eric getting his new job...our whole morning routines are going to change.

Eric will now have to be at work by 7am.  Which means that I will be the one to get Bailee up and ready and out the door in plenty of time to get her to Daycare and me to work on time.

Blah

Basically, we have come to the desicion to switch Bailee from her current Daycare provider, to a new Daycare Center.  The Daycare Center is a hop, skip, and a jump from our home.  Which will be a lot nicer than driving her clear out of our way to where she has been going for the past 2 1/2 years.  (the babysitter lives by where we used to live...very far and out of the way from where we now live)

It is just a hard thing.  How do you 'let-go' someone who has been so wonderful with your child for the past 2 1/2 years?  It will be best in the end.  Bailee will learn so much at this center, and she'll meet kids that actually live near us.  And kids that she will probably attend school with when that time comes.

Anyway...big transition on the way for us all.  Time to wake up a billion hours earlier every morning...and deal with a child who HATES mornings and is very difficult! lol

But, I am optimistic that this is going to be a wonderful thing.  Just another new door that has been opened and that we are going to embrace together as a family!!

Hope you all are enjoying the snowy day as much as ME!  I love the snow!

 

ta-ta

I am so EXCITED!!!!

And ANOTHER wonderful thing about 2007!!!

Eric just got a NEW JOB!!!  No more workin' nights!  No more workin' weekends!!  BETTER PAY!!!!

Wahoo!  I am so proud of my hubby!!!

And I am looking forward to this time that we will be able to spend together.  Since we have been married he has worked most nights of the week...AHHHHH....a great big sigh of RELIEF!!!

 

**HapPY mOnDAy***

I know, I know...

Monday's aren't usually 'happy'...but I had a good one!

Here's hoping that you all did too!

Hope you all have a FANTABULOUS week!!

MUAH

Such is life...

I don't really have much to mention about.  This week has been, well...short, but LONG at the same time.  I know that doesn't make too much sense...but you know what I mean.

I guess I just expected this New Year to be...amazing right of the start.  But I forget that I have to go out and work for what I want.  I have so much to do, and now it seems like such little time to do it.  I can't believe how fast these past years have gone by.

Example: About a month ago I found a roll of film in a drawer that was used, but undeveloped.  I had no clue what could be on it, so I dropped it off at an Inkley's near my work.  Well, that was over 3 weeks ago.  I had forgotten about it.  Today, at lunch, I was walking past that same Inkley's and remember that I needed to finally pick up my 1 hour film that was left behind many, many days ago.  I got to see what was on that roll of film.  They were pictures of Bailee at about 1 year old.  Looking at those pictures made me think, "My goodness, it seems like just a few weeks ago I was TAKING thosse damn pictures!!"  I couldn't believe it was over 2 years ago.

Anyway, I hate how fast the time flies by.  I hate how horrible I have been at keeping in touch with my good friends of the past.  Which now probably think I am so rude!  But I am not.  I am just so busy in this mumbo-jumbo that we call LIFE.  And time just seems to go right by.  I am realizing that I need to slow down and remember the things that make this life worth living.  Quit running around all the time, worrying about what is NOT being done.  And start putting all my energy into my family and my dearest friends. 

I have been very lucky to have found some very dear friends to me.  And I want to express how much they mean to me.  And that I HAVE NOT forgotten them.  I have just been in the wrong frame of mind.  Worrying more about the petty things.  I love you all so very much!  And I hope you all don't think I am ignorant.  It's not that.  I do think of you all, ALL the time!  I just need to be more expressive.  I need to make more time for the things that make memories.  Because all this stress, and all this work.  Yeah, who remembers all that later on in life.  Heck, I don't even remember what I was doing a week ago with work.  But, when you are out with your loved ones, and your dear friends, now that is what you remember.

Sorry to be so "soaked up in me". 

And to all that have taken the time to read through this whole "blog"...thanks.  You are my truest friends that do care about me.

 

I love you!

 

X's and O's

 

Jamilyn

'Better Days' for 2007

GOO GOO DOLLS LYRICS

"Better Days"

And you ask me what I want this year
And I try to make this kind and clear
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
Cuz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
And desire and love and empty things
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

And it's someplace simple where we could live
And something only you can give
And thats faith and trust and peace while we're alive
And the one poor child that saved this world
And there's 10 million more who probably could
If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
And somehow stop this endless fight
Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words
And sing out loud
Cuz everyone is forgiven now
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again
Cuz tonight's the night the world begins again

Christmas at Brian Head

So, this year we spent Christmas with my hubby's family at Brian Head.

We had a pretty good time.

We got there Saturday night at about 7PM. Everyone was sitting around playing games and enjoying snacks. We sat down and chatted it up with his parents that we hadn't seen in a few months.

Bedtime was some where after midnight that first night. And we were sleeping on a pull-out in the loft with all the kiddos. Eric had a hard time sleeping on that small pull-out, so at about 2am he left to sleep on the couch downstairs, so I had that pull-out to myself. (Which was alot more cozy alone, then sharing with someone.)

Sunday morning we got up and had a nice, big breakfast.

Then Eric left to go skiing with his bro-in-law, Kelly. While I stayed behind to play with the kiddies.

During Sunday, the Christmas tree was cut, the kids decorated it, and we also had Gingerbread Houses made. It was a fun-filled, event-full day.

That night we had a pasta dinner and then gathered around the living room for the Christmas Pagent that is tradition to Eric's Family. We sang Christmas songs, and read stories, and then finished the evening off by watching Mr. Kruegars Christmas and The Christmas Story.

Luckily, all kids were fast asleep before 10pm. Except, of course, Bailee. HAHA. But we got her to bed in plenty of time for "santa" to leave the gifts out.

Christmas Day we all got up at around 7 to have the kids open all their Christmas gear. Then everyone sat around and played with there presents. Some kids went sledding, and Eric and I had a pool championship downstairs in the game room. (Eric won all three matches...) =(

We had a big feast around 2 and then we left at about 4.

Christmas ended up being a joyful time. I had fun spending time with his family.

I hope you all had a good day as well.

New Year's Eve....a TOTAL disappointment!!

So, this year...New Years Eve wasn't such a GREAT FUN like it is supposed to be.

I was SICK all damn day!! NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR AT ALL!!!

I woke up throwing up, and Eric had to come home from work because I couldn't even get out of bed!!

I slept until about 8:45pm, and then got up and tried to enjoy the night. But spent the whole time whinning on the couch while forcing myself to stay up past midnight. =( Not too happy with that.

New Years is supposed to be a fun time for parties and such. Not to have to be spent laid up all day. Sick as a dog!!

Anyway, I am feeling much-o better today. Still a little queasy, but much better. Which means, Eric and I can 'celebrate' a little tonight...lol...

I do hope that everyone else had a great New Years! And didn't have to spend it sick!!

Happy 2007 to you ALL!