That's the truth. We can choose to wake up every morning and do the same old boring routine, or we can choose to end it.
Now BEFORE you start thinking 'oh-no' Jami needs help...she's suicidal.. STOP! That is not the case. I'm far from it. Yes I've thought about it here and there....but, every day I've learned to appreciate life more and more.
Ever since being taken out of work for heart issues and extreme anxiety, I have had a LOT of time to reflect. There were days that I was crying in a corner begging God to take me away...and then there were those days that I actually felt like "Jami".
Feeling like myself is all I want. I want the bouts of anxiety and peeling my skin off to go away. But it's a process. Some days I'm "Go-Go-Go" I feel just like 'me'. And then other days that I can't drag my sorry butt out of bed.
I know a lot of you don't understand what I'm going through. Heck- I don't understand it. I have the man of my dreams in the palm of my hand and the most amazingly, spectacular daughter ever.
It's hard. Anxiety/Depression is real. Anyone that tells you otherwise is an idiot.
It CAN kill. It does hurt.
I have days/weeks that I don't even want to leave the house- even to go spend a few hours with my best friends.
It's because I am a wreck- and I am working on myself and getting better.
Please understand. This isn't something I can control.
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