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That's exactly what I did last night.
I know that I already posted an "I'm Sorry" post. But, I still feel I need to clear the air.
When I get frustrated, hurt, or angry...I make references to "going away". But, I just want you all to know that I'd never intentionally hurt myself. It's just a way I vent and cope.
I also wanted to state...that I know this is an open blog...and that anyone and their dog can read it. Some people choose to vent and express their emotions privately. I...on the other hand...like to vent out loud. It helps me. I don't care who reads it...this is my blog...and I can express whatever I feel like expressing on here.
The problems I was going through were private. That is why I didn't really delve into them. Just so you all know, Eric and I are fine. Actually, we are great. My 'emotions' last night had nothing to do with him. I love him more than anything in this world. And in times like this...he is my rock.
My mom and my step-dad are going through a nasty divorce. Those are my issues that I was venting about. I was put in a position that I was not happy about being put in. Forced to be in the middle. It is hard for me. It is VERY hard for me. I love my Mom. I love my step-dad. I hate having to be in the middle. It was making me literally sick. I cried, I cursed, I freaked out...that's how I "roll" in those situations. I am fine now. Hopefully the worst is over. Hopefully.
Anyway, I just wanted to basically apologize again for making people worry about me. I exploded. I tend to hold things in for way to long...and then...I explode. I've always been that way. And I'm more than positive this isn't the last time I'll explode...on here. It's my way of venting.
But, I am doing a hundred times better tonight. I feel a LOT better.
And, I love life. I love my super, supportive husband and our amazingly, talented daughter.
I'm fine. I'm ok. I'm not going anywhere!
XOXO,
Jamilyn
3 comments:
you'll probably block and delete me, but do me a small favor tell your mom we love her, and i'm sorry to hear whats going on.
But your mom is a strong woman and she'll be fine.
as for being public, just be careful I recently had to make my livejournal private because I was being verbally attacked by people I didn't even know. one going as far as to call me a fag and they were going to hunt me down and kill my, marie and my animals.
just be careful cousin.
If you delete me thats fine but at least tell your mom that for me and my mom.
hope your doing okay.
Jamilyn, I am so sorry you are going through this. My parents divorced when I was 18, and although they can be civil now, there was a long time when that wasn't the case.
Good luck! I'm thinking of you!
Sorry you are going through a rough patch! Divorce sucks (coming from a gal who has a mom on marriage #4) and I feel for you!
Vent any time!
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